Dear God, Please give me a sign. Please let me recognize the sign. Please let me know which door to walk through when you open it. But, if I am being dense, please feel free to smack me in the head with it!
Yes, really. This is not something new, I have always thought this way.
There are signs, as in a feeling, a gut instinct etc., a "virtual" sort of sign and then there are "actual" signs.
Many of you know that Jeff and I had a motto; "Make Every Moment Count." Recently a friend sent me a pic of a sign. It ended with our motto. (OK, I'm not as original as I thought!)
I searched for it and found out it was available as a poster so I ordered it mounted on wood and this now hangs in my bedroom. I read it nearly every day. Some good advice here! This has become, one of my favorite (actual) signs!
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| THIS IS YOUR LIFE *Louise Carey |
Even more recently, I found a new(er) vehicle for myself:) Jeff and I had started looking back in late April when we realized he could not get into my jumbo SUV. Sadly, we did not find anything before he passed away. We had decided on what to get that would work well for Jeff and I have continued to look for that car ever since. I did briefly consider other vehicles but really liked what we had originally decided on. I had certain requirements such as, it must be all wheel drive. This is important for me to be able to get out of my long driveway in the winter. And because they don't plow our road first! Or even second! After driving a 4WD for the last 12 years or so, AWD is a must. Also, did not want a certain couple of year models due to brake issues and I had a budget. Lastly, I wanted red. I like red. A lot. And so, I routinely did Internet searches plugging in my requirements including the red and the AWD. This did limit the search but I was being patient. (I am learning!) I found many and a few even seemed worth looking at but none worked out for one reason or another. The red color that usually came up was Candy Apple. Very nice:) By Labor Day I was getting a bit more stressed about this. I really wanted to find something and be driving it a bit before nasty weather set in. "Dear God, please help me find a car by the end of Sept. Please lead me to the right one and give me a sign." (Yes, I felt very selfish being this specific in my request but...) A few nights later, I plugged in my search criteria again and several came up. Then I widened my search area by another 25 miles. A few more yet. One 1 year old vehicle had 126,000 miles on it! Not going there! And then I saw one that seemed promising. Close to the right price. About an hour away. Looked good on paper. And then I noticed the color name. Bordeaux Reserve. Ok, I get it! I see the sign! After a tour this summer of vineyards and now getting a job working in a tasting room, to find a car named after a wine/wine region seemed like a sign to me! A week and a half later, we worked out an agreement and the car was mine:) I love it. It drives beautifully, has a lot of room and gets much better gas mileage! But, most importantly and best of all; I am not worried about when the next thing will go wrong or breaking down somewhere! I have peace of mind! I loved my SUV and it got us through a lot. More soccer tournaments and sporting events than I can count! Moving the kids to college. Moving to Ann Arbor for 4 months and back home. It served us well but, being nearly 15 years old was just pushing it. Yes, I think, I know that was a sign!
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| My Ford Edge:) |
One evening recently I found myself missing Jeff more than usual. I don't know why. Nothing happened or didn't happen to promote this. But, that is the way it goes. I often "talk" to Jeff, sometimes out loud (I am pretty sure this is not as crazy as it sounds!) and sometimes more "in my head". So, I sat down in my desk chair in front of the fireplace and Jeff's urn and had a long talk with him. It helped. But, I wanted a sign. I even said, :"give me a sign." It was a rainy night and the temp had risen a bit making it almost balmy and I sat on the front porch around midnight for a bit until I felt centered again and peaceful. I went to bed and dreamed of holding hands:) The next morning I was enjoying my last cup of coffee and reading a book given to me by a friend. The book is a "day book" and since Jeff passed away in June and I was given the book in Aug. I have been reading 10-15 days at a time here and there. The plan is to get to to end of the book by the end of the year and then start over on Jan. 1st and read it day by day throughout the year. It will be interesting to see if the passages that I have highlighted, that struck me as wise and meaningful the first time through, will strike me again or if I will notice different things the second time. In any case, I was going to read to the end of July on this morning. Once I reached July 31st, I felt compelled to keep reading despite the fact that I had other things on my "to do list." I decided to read just 4 more days, till Aug. 4th, Jeff's Birthday. And then, I got to the bottom of the page and the "foot note" said:
Dear _______, There is a space in my heart that is always yours."
Yes, I wrote his name on the line. Out of 365 pages that this could have been on,to have this be on the date that was his Birthday seemed to me, to be a sign.
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| A little book with some big messages! Thank you Sandy! |
Maybe I am reaching. Maybe I just want to see signs. But, I don't really think so. They are all around us. I think we just have to be willing to see them. I think we have to be willing to trust them.
Listen to your gut. Listen to your heart. And, be willing to see the signs and listen to what they tell you. They are put in our path for a reason. Trust. Follow the signs, they are everywhere. And, as Jeff and I said, and as the sign at the top of this says, "Make Every Moment Count!"
(((Hugs)))
Brenda
