The "We", The "Me", and living "Thankfully"

Happy Thanksgiving Week to everyone!  
As I was making my lists and checking them twice (or 3 or 4 times!) this morning, I was marveling over the year that I have had! 
   Surviving last winter seems like a feat in itself!  I don't ever remember having to clear our roof in the 25 years I have lived here!  I am so  Thankful to my boys, including my son in law, and also to my nephews and Larry for the help clearing the deck and the roof!  You were all amazing and a Blessing!

The snow in the front yard was higher than the front porch!

   By April, we found ourselves really gearing up for Briana and Matt's wedding!  Wedding invitation assembly line, showers starting, another visit to Blue Dress Barn, and more!  Such an amazing, wonderful, special time!  I am so Thankful to everyone who was a part of this day, you were truly Blessings to myself and our family! And,  I am so very Thankful to have gained a wonderful young man for a son in law!

   I am always very Thankful for my kids!  You make me smile and laugh, you make me proud, you are helpful. You are each a Blessing; Chase, Drew, Briana and Matt...I love you all!

   I am Thankful for my friends and family!  Someone is always up for an outing, a road trip, a hike or an adventure!  For this I am Thankful!  Truthfully, I can and,  sometimes do,  these things on my own and even enjoy the quiet, peaceful solitude but,  I have also come to realize that doing things with someone else often shows me much more than I would see on my own!  They see, notice or appreciate something I did not and, in turn I may see something they did not.  It is double the fun!  So thankful for these wonderful people I've been Blessed to have in my life!
   I am Thankful for my Book Club Bibliophile Besties! Our book club rocks! I have been pushed to read books I would not have otherwise read and am more enriched because of it.  Book Club is often like group therapy for most of us at one time or another :)   Books, food, and great friends; who could ask for more?!
   I am Thankful for my jobs!  I know I have said it before but, I really do love what I do!  Both of my jobs, the people I work with and the people I have met as a result of these jobs are things I am very Thankful for!  They have been a Blessing to me  during times when focusing on something outside of my personal struggles with loss and grief was truly a sanity saver!
   I am Thankful for new beginnings and new lives, babies!  Two weddings this year, friends who, as it turns out, met online and , Briana and Matt's.  And, we have been Blessed by 2 new additions this year; Baby Jackson in February for whom I am Blessed to be a (honorary) Nonnie and Delilah in May, my adorable great niece.  I love the baby snuggles and spoiling them a tiny bit!

Jackson and I reading together

Delilah as a delightful baby bee and myself at Paint A Pot

   As the Holidays approach, I am Thankful for so much! My home, heat, food, and creature comforts that we can so easily take for granted like a dishwasher, washer and dryer and more!  With only days to go before Thanksgiving, I am contemplating that reality of not having Briana and Matt with us in person to celebrate!  In all honesty, it is making me a bit sad.  As a family, I think we are still getting used to the idea of the "empty chair" that was Jeff's.  Now, this year we will be facing more empty space around the table and around the tree.  I am so very Thankful for our phones and Skype so that we may all be able to talk and visit despite the many miles that separate us!  I am also Thankful for the ability to text and see the kids on Facebook, it feels like they are closer with these things available to us!  
   This year really has been one of change, enlightenment and growth.  We have added to our family with Briana and Matt's wedding and then Briana and Matt moved to Colorado immediately after their wedding.  Briana started Grad school and Matt started a new job.  Chase and Drew are doing well in their jobs and I have taken on more tasks at the winery.  That is a lot of changes!  
    The wedding also got me to thinking about a lot of things.  A lot of memories for me of course but, it also prompted me to think about where I am and where I am going.  It made me realize that, for almost 33 years, the "me" I knew and was, was part of a "we."  In the last 2 1/2 years, I have been discovering who the "me" I am now is without being part of a "we."  I never thought about this until recently.  I'm in a good place in my life and I realized that I was thinking about the possibility of sharing that place with someone else at some time. That was a shocker to me!  I had been asked out a couple of times but was not to a point where I was ready to consider that.  With wedding planning in full swing at this time, I put all these thoughts on hold.  Once we were through the wedding and my mind was free to contemplate thoughts outside of work and wedding, I decided to explore some options.  On the advice of more than a few friends, some of whom have experienced great success in this venue, I signed up with an online dating site. (GULP!)  Let's face it, I work a lot and do not meet available men at my jobs.  Where else to meet someone???  I'm almost 4 months into this and have "gone out" a few times. (remember, my last "first date" was in 1979!!!  Boy have things changed. And, so have I!) I have "talked" to many, have blocked a few, and rolled my eyes and sighed at more than I can count!  (Sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh or rude but seriously, you would be amazed at some of the things people say and do. The pics they post and so much more!!!)  Right now, I have to admit that this  method of meeting others still feels "unnatural."  It also takes a lot of time!  Heading into a very busy season for me, I am finding that it is too time consuming.  The latest guy I have been chatting with seems frustrated when I am not "online" if I am home, if I am delayed  in responding to a message, and when I wasn't available to go to a game the next night. ( I had already told him I would be working.).  I don't have the time, energy, or patience to soothe  egos, and I don't want to be "unfair" to anyone when I know  now that the next 5 weeks will be very busy!   I would still like to meet someone if that it what is meant to be ( if it is meant to be, it will be and if not I'm good :)  ) but, for now, I have suspended my online dating profile.  I may go back after the holidays, may try another site or who knows; may meet someone in the grocery store (an inside joke!)!    
  "Life is a Journey" that I am enjoying to the fullest and trying to "Make every moment count!"
I am Thankful for each of you and wish you all a    Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!!!

(((Hugs)))
   Brenda

Yesterdays and Tomorrows

 

Photo from a book gifted to me by a dear friend

 I know it has been a long while since I have blogged. Several have been started but none have been finished. Spring and summer we're just very busy. But something happened today and I just wanted to write it down and share it before I forget the lesson :)

   Today was another normal work day for me. Lots to do, go go go! Just the way I like it :)
Shortly after noon I took a box out to the dumpster. On the way back,  something caught my eye.  A very elderly couple was leaving Russ's after their lunch and walking very slowly down the sidewalk to their car. I'm not sure who was holding up!  Truth be told, it looked like if one of them had gone down, they would have taken the other with them. They looked so sweet, so tender and caring towards one another! And in that moment, my heart was  so touched by this sweet couple in this sweet moment,  and then my heart broke just a little. Out of nowhere the thought occurred to me that this is what I had always thought Jeff and I would be like somewhere way down the road.  This is what our tomorrows would be.
I am fine, I promise! Please don't feel sorry for me. That is not why I am sharing this with you this evening. I am sharing this because I was reminded today that,  no one can take away your yesterdays but no one is promising you your tomorrows!  Hug someone.   Tell someone you love them and, "Make every moment count!"


(((Hugs)))
  Brenda

Random Thoughts: Holidays, snowstorms, Valentines Day, changes and a wedding...

  Random thoughts:
 Holidays, Snowstorms, Valentines Day, changes and a wedding... 

    The Holidays have come and gone and for once, I think I may have balanced it right!  (For myself at least.)   It was busy but in a good way and not so busy that I "crashed!"  Christmas eve was much different, always having spent it with family and the kids but, this year, as Bri and Matt are working on blending and sharing traditions with each others families, I found myself without plans.  And, knowing that changes are inevitable and moving forward as a "flexible adapter" is necessary, I was ok with that.  I received a couple of invitations but, in the end, I invited myself to join neighbors for Christmas eve supper out if they should go. (They had invited me last year so...I was presumptuous and invited myself this year!)  We (and her sister) went out for a very nice supper which I thoroughly enjoyed!  New years eve was spent quietly at home, and New Years day I had one last Holiday party with the kids, nephews, friends etc.  Aahhh yea, just the right amount of entertaining, socializing and celebrating :)

   A January to rival those of my childhood was on tap with many alerts, watches, advisories and warnings and a "Polar Vortex" that kept me (and many others!) home bound for more days than I can remember in a very long time!  My jobs closed down for a couple of days and not being able to see through the white out conditions to pull out of my driveway, not to mention wind chills in amazing negative digits, I remained housebound for 3 1/2 days!   To say I felt "at loose ends" would be an understatement!  I got a lot done, Christmas decorations taken down and packed up, Bear got a bath and a trim, house was cleaned top to bottom etc. and a lot of reading was done but, I am used to structure and much stricter time frames!  I'll not be retiring anytime soon, lol!  Round two a couple of weeks later with a storm on my Birthday (also the anniversary of the blizzard of '78 which I remember well!)  brought us to snow totals by the end of January that we have not seen for years!
   Continued snowfall accumulating on my deck and roof and a bit of an ice jam creating a drip in my kitchen made clearing the deck and all roof areas a bit of an urgent undertaking!  My deepest gratitude goes out to the hero's of the week for all of their help over 3 days!  Chase, Drew, Larry, Mason and Matt...you all ROCK!!!  BTW, I now own my own roof rake if anyone needs to borrow it:)

   Valentines Day, like other holidays in the retail world, are planned for far in advance of the actual day.  At Paint a Pot a co worker and I packed up the Christmas display pieces and brought out Valentines Day pieces the first week of January and I re did our bulletin board with a pink and red and hearts theme.   We were all about hearts and candy and painting etc.  I even had a chance to create a couple of new sample pieces to add to our display.  At Peek a Boutique, clothing displays started taking on a red, pink and white theme almost on their own and I had to be sure it did not dominate.  It seems that is just where our minds go this time of year.  At Warners we began talking about what to do, how to promote it etc.  A lot of Valentines day prep going on in my life.  And yet, the kids are out of the house.  In years past, there would be heart shaped Linzer Tart cookies, heart shaped pancakes or waffles, heart shaped handmade pizzas, candy, hand made Valentines and more. Last year, Valentines Day as with all other "first" holidays, felt a bit like days that I had to "get through."  This Christmas and now Valentines Day, I felt more like embracing the holidays instead of just getting through them.  This seems like positive progress forward to me!   Home made pizza, a glass of wine (Warner of course!) and a movie, appropriately, Valentines Day, was on my agenda and I enjoyed myself :)

 
















   As I have traveled through the last 18 months, I have made many changes. These changes were made to accommodate my needs as the only person now living in my house.  Garage and basement work shop re organized. Ditto for the shed etc. Old e mail dropped and using my g mail account exclusively.  Simplify and organize.  Make things work for what my needs are now. Now, the time has come to make a small but significant change. To me at least.  My 2 year contract with Charter is up next week.  I have realized that, I rarely use my home phone.  I am out of the house so much that I am simply not home enough to really use it.  Additionally, my cell works fine at the house and many people just call that anyway.  It seems like wasted money to keep the home phone.  I am also finding that I do not watch much tv.  Again, not home much and would usually rather be reading!  I do have a few favorite shows but, they are mostly on network channels.  Also, being a member of Amazon Prime, I do have access to movies and some tv shows.  So...cue the research. Lots of research!  I have invested in two Roku boxes and  "connected" my Prime account to them. I attempted an antennae with Chase's help.  Unfortunately, the antennae will not provide a good enough signal consistently in my area so, it is being returned.  The plan now is, to drop the home phone and all but very basic cable tv through Charter (I'll have about 10 channels).  I don't think I will miss anything by doing this (and I will save a significant amount of money each month!) but, it will seem odd to be giving up the home phone # I have had since 1981!  (I can be contacted via my cell-if you need the #, let me know or through e mail or facebook.)
   Wedding plans are progressing on schedule!  This is such an exciting time :)  Bri and Matt are very organized and pulling things together nicely!  I was overjoyed to spend a day with Briana and a couple of her bridesmaids wedding dress shopping, such a special day and an honor to be included!  August 3 will be here before we know it!  I am so looking forward to seeing these 2 beautiful people getting married!  The location is incredible and again, I was honored to go with Matt and Briana to visit the Blue Dress Barn and choose a date!  The date chosen was one a just a few available for 2014 and Briana quickly realized that it is the day before what would be her dad's birthday, making this a very special weekend!  I am sure we will have a few difficult moments but...with happy hearts filled with love and the Blessing of many family and friends gathered with us, we will, as usual, try and "Make every moment count!"

 

I hope this finds you all doing well and Making every moment count!

(((Hugs)))
  Brenda

November and December Books

  Well, I have reached the end of my year of blogging about books!  As you can see, I love to read!  And, I like all kinds of books :)   Our book club has been so much fun, great group of friends, fun books & wonderful food!  In total, I read (I may have forgot a couple but, this is close) 113 books this year.  Moving forward now, in 2014, I will be "pinning" all the book I read onto a new Pinterest board called 2014 books read.  That will be a little less time consuming than writing a blog.  Any of you on Pinterest who wish to follow my progress this year are welcome!  

   This saying is so true!  I always remember having books.  Going to the Dime store and being allowed to get a book each time.  Going to the library and carrying home tall stacks of books!  Yes, I am in love with books. With reading!

Here are the books I read in November and December:

Sweet Salt Air by Barbara Delinsky **** 1/2

   A beautiful story of lifelong friendship and relationships.  Tragedy (of the man made kind) and the eventual good that came as a direst result many years later.  A story about forgiveness, bravery, and hope.  I really enjoyed this one!

Candlelight Christmas by Susan Wiggs ****

    My first Christmas book of the year and it was a good one!  This is part of the Lakeshore Chronicles series which I have been reading for several years.  It is nice to visit once again with old and familiar characters as well as meet new ones.  This is a very sweet story of family and blended families. Of Santa and the spirit of Christmas and believing. And of love.  I teared up just a tiny bit at the end because it was so sweet!

Winners by Danielle Steel **** 1/2

   An amazing story of strength, perseverance, character, hope, love and more.  Several life changing events for several people, brought together in the midst of it all and what it takes for them to stay positive and not only survive but thrive!  To be a winner!  A really great story!

The Vineyard by Barbara Delisnky **** 1/2

   Combine an author I really enjoy with a subject I love and the book is bound to be a hit with me!  I've read Barbara Delinsky for years and of course I love the subject matter and setting in this book. Barbara tells a story of family (and the lack of) with a bit of the family history and a love story or two while (for me  at least) interspersing interesting facts about the day to day operations of a vineyard.  I really enjoyed this book!

The Hens of the Baskervilles by Donna Andrews *** 1/2

   Yes, another mystery, another series I have been reading for quite a while.  This was a fun one set at a fair and the mystery involved the poultry tent  (my moms family had a poultry farm) and the wine tent (Virginia is BIG wine country and theses books take place in Virginia plus, I may enjoy the occasional glass myself!) so, I feel I once again learned a few things from a fictional novel :)  A "just for fun" book.  Now, on the the Christmas one...Tis the season!

A Seaside Christmas by Sheryl Woods ****

   Yes, I am one of those people who reads Christmas novels at Christmas time :)  This one is part of a series that I have been reading so I needed the latest installment as well as a "feel good Holiday fix!"  More to come, lol!

Silent Spring by Rachel Carson ***

   Our November book club selection.  Written in 1962 and detailing the devastating and far reaching effects of chemical spraying including DDT.  A sometimes almost too detailed account, it is none the less, interesting and disturbing and begs the question; "have we learned a lesson?"

Through The Grinder by Cleo Coyle ****

   From the series, Coffee house mysteries,  another well written and intriguing mystery including much to learn about coffee and some good recipes!

Duck The Halls by Donna Andrews

   And another Christmas book :)  Yes, I am one of those people.  Once a year I read all the Christmas additions to all the series I read and a few that are not part of a series.  Love it!

Death of a Snob by M.C. Beaton ****

   A quick, fun read!  A mystery set on an island and one in a series.  I may just have to look into some of the others!

On What Grounds by Cleo Coyle ****

    Working my way through this series and enjoying each one!  Well written stories, fun recipes :)

Sand Castle Bay by Sherryl Woods ****

   A sweet story about what is important in life.  Best quote from the book...
 "Life is always easier when it's smooth sailing, but these waves are what keeps it interesting. They make us stronger and help us figure out what's really worthwhile." 

Beautiful Day by Erin Hilderbrand****

   This story takes place over several days leading up to and including the wedding.  Lots of family and extended family dynamics going on in this book!

Damn You Auto Correct by Jillian Madison **** 1/2

   If you need a laugh, this is the book!  Oh my, really did "Laugh Out Loud" over many of these texts!  Read this one :) 

Sonoma Rose by Jennifer Chiverini **** 1/2

   Family, friendship, relationships, trust, loyalty, fear.  Many elements in this book.  Combined with a vineyard and wine making and prohibition.  This book has so much going on in it!   The prohibition facts in this book are accurate and the story is told well!  On top of all of that, it also tells the story of several children in the family with a "mysterious" illness that is killing them.  The illness is diagnosed as Celiac's disease (yes, it can cause death, even in this age of modern medicine and knowledge!).   I loved all the dynamics in this book and was kept on the edge of my seat wanting to find out what happened next!  Thank you Julianna for recommending it to me!

W is for Water by Sue Grafton **** 1/2

    I have been reading this series from the beginning; A is for Alibi.  I have watched to writing style progress along with the main character, Kinsey. I have so enjoyed this series and am a bit sad that we are nearing the end, I'll miss Kinsey and her capers!  This is a well written series, each book well connected to the previous stories (though you could pick up any one and read it without being "lost"!)  This book in particular was one of my favorite so far!

Patch Adams Gesundheit by Patch Adams with Maureen Mylander ****

   Our January book club selection, what a great, uplifting story!  And, true :)  I can't wait to watch the movie. I can't wait to discuss it at book club.  What a unique concept and vision Patch has for our health care system.  If only this could happen, maybe someday?

Kinsey and Me by Sue Grafton **** 1/2

    Wow,  What a gift!  After recently feeling a bit sad by the fact that I was reading W is for Wasted and realizing how near we all have come to the end of an amazing series of books, this book felt like a gift!  Actually, like a bunch of small gifts, very prettily wrapped up and waiting under the tree :)  In Kinsey and me, we get a glimpse into the incarnation of Kinsey.  How she was named, why she is like she is etc.  I loved this! A series of the original short stories where Kinsey was "born."  My only regret is, that if I now then what I know now, I would have started near the end of the book with the Kit stories which are a bit of a peak into Sue Grafton's (earlier) life and ended with the beginning which is made up of her very first Kinsey short stories!  Perhaps I just feel as though I know Kinsey better and therefore there were easier to identify with whereas Kit was a new character to me?  The Kinsey stories made me feel happy, they were well written and wonderful. The Kit stories made me feel sad but that may have been because Sue herself may have felt sad writing them.  You be the judge but, if you are a Kinsey fan or a Sue Grafton/Alphabet Mystery series fan, do not miss this book! 

The Goodbye Quilt by Susan Wiggs ****

   A sweet and touching book of the journey of parenthood, motherhood to be specific. About raising our children only to let them go. In the end, the journey is about so much more than that!  This book seemed familiar as I read it and I wonder now if I have read it before or just one similar?  I like Susan Wiggs and have read many books written y he but, this one was not on my "read list". Either way, I enjoyed it and am glad to have read or re read it!

Just One Of the Guys by Kristan Higgins ****

   A funny and sweet story of a girl in a family of guys. A family of firefighters and "heroes."  A family that includes a longtime friend who has become like one of the siblings. Almost.  Fun and funny, enjoyable!

 
                                                           



                                                          This too is so true!

   Thank you for following me as I write and as I read!  May 2014 be a wonderful year for each and every one of you!  And, for my fellow bibliophile friends, may 2014 be filled with many great books!

Make Every moment count!

(((Hugs)))
  Brenda